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I don't get how to play this one. Can't even get past the main menu. Pressing 1 or 2 doesn't do anything.

You need a Numpad to play (use the 1-9 digits of the Numpad) (we chose it because it was the most Nokia-like input) ; sorry that was not clear at :/ 

Ahh, i don't have a numpad.

Makes sense.